Monday, 13 February 2012

For Those of You Bummed About Valentine's Day

So the dreaded day for singles is fast approaching, you may think its time to bury your head in a share size tub of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream but thankfully that won't be the case for I am an expert at coping with single life, I've been doing it for the past 17 years!

Things to do tonight:

1. Set a reminder on your phone for early in the morning but name it as a cute, romantic message. This creates the illusion that you've received a loving message from someone special.
2. Write yourself a loving letter/card for you to open in the morning since no one else will send you one  (my Nana used to send me pity cards but she's stopped now, to my disappointment)
3. Wear your biggest, snuggliest hoody or t shirt to bed, or why not steal something from your dad to wear. It makes you feel like you've stolen a boyfriend's clothing.
4. Spray your pillow with men's perfume/deodorant so you wake up to fresh man smell.

Things to do tomorrow:

1. Avoid the outdoors. All the love in the air could cause a singleton to suffocate and spontaneously combust. Maybe keep the curtains closed too, couples don't want to look at single people on the most romantic day of the year. You're like Gollum to them.
2. Avoid loved up parents, mainly because you don't want to see them getting touchy feely. Ew.
3. Wear a big, warm jumper again, to create the feeling that its a boyfriend's. Try spraying it with men's perfume again.
4. Don't watch Rom Coms you'll only get depressed over the happy ending (you may think Bridget Jones is a good choice but remember, even she gets the man in the end) I would go for a good horror movie like Scream, Friday the 13th or Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There's nothing more liberating than seeing dumb, hysterical teenage girls getting murdered on Valentine's Day.
5. Have a good heart warming dinner like soup. It gives you a good feeling inside.
6. Have a dance to Generation X's "Dancing with Myself"... several times.
7. Avoid social networking sites for the day the last thing you want to see is "omg luv my boii loadzzz <3 #valentinesday"

Well, I think that's all you need to know! (I hope I've cheered you up) Have a very Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Love Katie X

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